How to Get What You Want in Difficult Conversations
summary
Claim: the opening makes or breaks high-stakes one-on-one conversations and a simple structure raises success. Provides a five-step format (open, get view, present views, resolve, agree) and a four-element opening: appropriately sociable, a non-accusatory purpose using a first-person statement, a clear benefit for the other person, and checking receptivity. Research on ~100 video conversations finds leaders ask only three questions or less to get the other view. Short role-play shows the structured opening reduces defensiveness and improves outcomes.
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chapters (7)
- 0:00Introduction to difficult conversations
- 2:55Why openings matter
- 8:23Five-step conversation format
- 10:49Four elements of a good opening
- 24:40Applying the techniques
- 26:02Q&A on conversation challenges
- 32:44Closing and resources
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