Debugging Difficult Conversations - Or "How not to chicken out"
summary
Claim: 80% of programmers report better solutions after learning to handle difficult conversations. The talk gives a reproducible framework — mindset and preparation — plus a three-page fillable PDF worksheet with logistics (who/when/where), concrete questions (why it helps me/them/the team), evidence to gather, likely objections, and timing rules (give feedback quickly, never ambush on a Friday). Ignoring problems often makes them far costlier (an anecdote of a €12,000 repair vs a small early fix).
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chapters (40)
- 0:00Introduction
- 3:37What are difficult conversations
- 4:22No monologue
- 5:04Who am I
- 6:26Happy and Effective Technical Leaders
- 8:53Difficult Conversations
- 9:43High Impact
- 11:54Ignore Difficult Conversations
- 13:05Land Rover Story
- 17:41Dont feel comfortable
- 18:43Confident
- 19:31Mindset
- 19:59Courage
- 20:20People pleaser
- 21:37Questions
- 21:57Why
- 22:44Designer example
- 23:16Why is it in the best interest
- 23:47Triggering fear
- 23:58The right mindset
- 24:09Preparation
- 28:08Examples
- 28:37PDF
- 29:19What
- 30:05When
- 31:34Fillable PDF
- 32:25First example
- 35:13Standups
- 36:02Why is it in my best interest
- 37:34How this fits into the wider
- 40:18Data gathering
- 41:48Accepting feedback
- 44:38Influence communication skills
- 46:25Preparation not a sales pitch
- 49:50Annual performance reviews
- 50:43Why is it in Jonathans best interests
- 52:24We let one person exhibit
- 52:57I can gather opinions
- 54:48Take a step back
- 55:30Resources
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