Making friends with my phone
summary
Argues that interaction design can privilege tend-and-befriend and social baseline theory instead of stress‑and‑reward, combining psychological frameworks with game design and game AI to build a companion model. Describes building the prototype Hashtag Self-Care with artist Eve Thomas, a three–five minute mini‑game collection that deepens connection rather than escalating challenge. It hits 500,000 downloads in six weeks and over a million without advertising, earns Apple Best of 2018 praise, and generates overwhelmingly positive user reports.
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chapters (17)
- 0:00Introduction
- 2:18Who I am and what True Love does
- 4:04Stress cycles in tech
- 6:36Tend and befriend response
- 9:04Why it feels familiar
- 10:10Phones ignore care
- 10:54App for care
- 13:00Reactions to theory
- 14:27Self-care success
- 16:35Implications of designing for tend and befriend
- 17:19Bias in stress research
- 18:20Design injustices
- 20:44Love over fear
- 21:49How I cured my anxiety by changing my mindset
- 22:31Redesign opportunities
- 22:53Self-care impact
- 23:39Call to action
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